I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
