I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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