we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
