You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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