even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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