hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I enjoy the company of your penis
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
