To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
