So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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