When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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