I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
