Porn is love you can see.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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