how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
