Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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