is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
