Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
