I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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