I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So vagazzling was a success
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
