In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
