Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
