I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
