Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
