On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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