Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
