When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize