I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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