suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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