I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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