i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the condom got lost in my hair
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
