I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
