Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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