i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
