Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
