I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
