Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
