i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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