she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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