Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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