3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
