Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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