I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
