I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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