I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
