Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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