Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
