I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
