Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
