There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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