she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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