So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
