their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
