i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
