I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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