Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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