Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
