Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
birth control should be required to get into college
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
