a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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