note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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