Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
