some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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