And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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