Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
