Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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